Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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