Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
