As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
