My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
