well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
