Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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