sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.