note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.