I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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