honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
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so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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