Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The Olympian is in my bed
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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