I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
