Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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