So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize