I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
