hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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