I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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