I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
