I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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