first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
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I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
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Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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