i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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