he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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