had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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