In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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