i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
