I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Randomize
