Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
