Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
