And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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