if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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