he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
