do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
