in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
