I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
