Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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