you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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