I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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