Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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