Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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