you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
