And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
