fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
