Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
