I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
two words...techno handjob
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i think my cat just said my name.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
