You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
