Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
