Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
