I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
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You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
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Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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