when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it's like iHOP with fire
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
