it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
