I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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