how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
