i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
