he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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