you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
