Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
