You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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