You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
