I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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