3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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