You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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