You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
