i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You need a sexual gate keeper
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
