I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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