This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
