If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
