Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
